I have blue hair with purple ends, and underneath that is a few layers of black hair with some strips of my bangs dyed black. Naturally, my hair is a golden brown/dirty blonde type of color. I like to curl my mustache at its ends, and to wear wire frame circular lens glasses. I like wearing band shirts, black jeans, distressed shorts, jewelry, and my purple nose ring. I love my Doc Marten’s, my jacket, my flannels, and my cardigans. I think it makes for a good look. So, I’ll go out into the world dressed like this. Shopping, hanging out, church, shows, etc. I notice not everyone dresses like me. In fact, more often than not, I walk into public settings and end up being the only one dressed in such a style and appearance. Especially at church. While some show up in button downs, dresses, Carhartt everything, I show up looking like the opposite fashion aesthetic. But I’m also a christian, like them. But I’m so free to look like this while worshipping! That means they must look at me funny, right? I must be more unique than they are! I must be in possession of more freedom than them, right? My faith is deeper than their’s! I must be more special! My individualism and expression makes me somebody deeper, more interesting than others.
I must be better than them.
I am better than them.
HEY! Where do you get off, thinking like that? Well, I’ll tell you where. Not too long ago, these are trains of thought that would go on in the back of my mind. I express myself as I want, yes. I like how I look and I enjoy the fact that I look different in a crowd. But let’s get something straight. I’m NOT special because of my expression. I am NOT better, more interesting, deeper, or more free than anybody as a result of my expression. That is a load and a half. A crock, if you will. I want to talk about the wonder and the danger of individuality. This is NOT me trying to declare any moral absolutes in terms of how we should and shouldn’t express ourselves. If you want guidance on those parameters, I recommend you read the Bible and get some Holy Spirit in ya darlin. At least, that’s what works for me! Anyways, self-expression. Let’s get started.
WHY DO YOU CARE?
So, here you are. You look cool! You look a lil unusual, and you like it that why. What are your reasons, though? Like, truly? Deep down type stuff? For me, I feel it is simply an expression of who I am inside, and doing things like wearing band shirts, or certain jewelry styles, are simply because I wanna show off and represent what I like. As I type this, I’m wearing a t-shirt from the band “julie”. I think their music is awesome, so, I wear this shirt to show that. My blue hair? I like blue. Now it’s in my hair. Yay. This is how I feel…now. Before, I did have times where I felt I had to keep up with all the other unique people I would see. They look more noticeable, they look more free. I wanna feel free, so I gotta look more extreme to achieve that. HALT! Let me burst the bubble. An outfit will not provide you with freedom. When we express ourselves for the sake of being like others, or wanting to be noticed, then we turn individuality into a rat race. A toxic competition that simply boils down to “who can look cooler”. That is DANGEROUS, and it will compromise relationships and ruin community. Self-expression has to come from one place, and one place alone…you! Not the other people who look so decked out and cool. Forget that! You do you! Wanna wear a t-shirt and jeans? Do it! Wanna get that piercing? Do it! Wanna color your hair? Do it! But do it for YOU. Not for them, and not to satisfy some sense of vanity. Oh, vanity? Speaking of which…
NO ONE ELSE CARES
They don’t. On some rare occasions, they do. But people are not going to stand in awe of your magnificent expression. You have a streak of colorful chemicals in your hair, big whoop. Since when does that make any of us the apex of humanity? I fell into a trap of believing that my sense of self-expression made me more knowledgable and aware of life and the world. But as I learned more about the “typical” looking people, the “typical” looking members of my church, I realized I was learning a lot by being humble and listening to them, and enjoying their company. Placing pride in my individuality actually made me super shallow, and horrendously judgmental. I look so different from them, there’s no way that I could be like them or enjoy their company! Uh, hello? That is some ass backwards logic. And it was infesting my mind! I don’t sound so free now, do I? When we obsess over our individuality and start believing it makes us super special, it isolates us, it makes us vain, and we miss out on opportunities for growth and for relationships. And to put it bluntly, it makes space for ego to grow and can place you on the fast track towards earning the top asshole award. I was headed there. It wasn’t even my main way of looking at my life, it was a background way of thinking, lurking in the shadows of my head. It distorts your self-perception and makes you look at others as inferior, just because they look a little more like others do. We need to love each other, and that begins with accepting that we are all living life on a level playing field. No one is above the other, we all walk the same flat plain together. So show some respect for your fellow human!
This was a short lil word vomit kinda post, but it’s a message I really like. It’s something that I’ve felt convicted by, having to realize I put too much of my self-worth into how “unique” I can be. Our individuality is important. We can prove value by being able to use skills and aspects of ourselves to fulfill roles that others can’t, but don’t be mistaken. Being able to look a certain way or do a certain thing that others can’t does NOT add to your value, nor does it subtract from their’s. So. You do you, for your own reasons, and let others do themselves and love each other while y’all live your lives. Love you guys, God bless.
I like this one. Self-fulfilling prophecies can be so powerful, and so easy to fall into the cycle of. Our ego spirals greater and greater because we're told we're different, therefore we feel we must act as different as possible in order to keep up some sort of reputation, until we lose sight of what we actually want, or what we're actually like. This is an important realization for many people (myself completely included) to have, and I'm proud of you for unlocking it.